Lady Business: Ifs, Ands, & (definitely) Butts

By Larissa Nemeth

 It’s not at all like I had a choice in the matter, but let me tell you, I’m proud to be a woman. On top of that, I’m proud to be a woman who champions a healthier environment. However, therein lies a rub. As a woman, I am marketed to, CONSTANTLY. I am made to feel like the consumption of tubes, wands, gels, masks, scrubs, salves, mists, creams, sprays, lotions, and potions will somehow strengthen the edifice of my femininity. Let me say, simply, FUCK. THAT.

Anybody has basic needs to be met, required for a healthy existence. A female body is no exception. And I think it is pretty safe to say that technology for meeting those needs has come an incredibly long way throughout human history, especially when it comes to periods and feminine hygiene. Women used “menstrual rags” (origin of “on the rag” anybody?) up until the 1930s when the first disposable pads were marketed. Enter the age of waste. Not only did women need to buy a monthly supply of fluff to stuff in their panties, they also had to throw them away, and the packaging. It’s been a major bummer ever since. So, let’s do some math here. If the version of the maxi-pad as we know it today was brought on to the scene back in the ’30s, that means that almost a full century has gone by with no significant improvement to period hygiene methodology’s lame. Do you know what else is antiquated? The fact that in 33 states, tampons and pads are billed as “luxury items” and thus can’t be purchased using food stamps. That’s especially troubling watching the economy doing its ping-pong thing of late. The current situation with COVID-19 has also put a strain on the supply chain, threatening access to paper goods.

Enter Modibodi. This leak-proof line of underwear, swimwear and activewear looks fly, feels smooth, and solves problems…down there. “The average woman will spend $17,000 on period products in her lifetime, whereas she can purchase 5-7 pairs of Modibodis for as little as $132, a purchase that will see you through your periods for the next two years.” Says CEO and Founder of Modibodi, Kristy Chung. Even if you don’t get a period, chances are you’ll run into one of the other 4 P’s, ad designated by Chung: pee, periods, perspiration & pregnancy. Now, don’t get me wrong- lingerie (or string underwear, as my daughter eloquently calls it) has its place, but during most of our days, function tops form- and not that you’ll really be sacrificing much in the latter category sporting Modibodi.

My experience wearing Modibodi briefs was great for lots of reasons but mainly because I felt comfortable and because I felt like I was doing good. According to Modibodi, “On an environmental level, the average woman will use upwards of 15,000 disposable period products in her lifetime, which can take several centuries (yes, centuries) to fully decompose in a landfill”. Nasty.

We’ve all had the ads pop up on our social media, ladies. But here is in-the-flesh testimony to the wonders of waste-less periods, using Modibodi’s Modifier Technology (a super slim satin lining that absorbs up to four tampons’ worth of liquid) and Modifier Air Technology (a moisture-wicking, odor-fighting lining for sweat). The packaging is thoughtful, slim, and recyclable, and this brand is not slowing down in the face of the global pandemic; if anything, they are ramping up. They work with worldwide charities to promote awareness and reduce the stigma of periods for women, and partner with organizations like period.org, which donates pairs of these panties to those in need, including refugees at the US border.

I think the moral of this story is just because you are a woman, it doesn’t mean you have to sit atop a throne of waste. Make that throne out of your accomplishments, self-worth, opinions, knowledge, skills, love, and whatever else really lifts you up. You are worth it, and damn girl, you look good in those Modibodi panties, too!